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What do I do if I think
my girlfriend is pregnant?
If you think your girlfriend is pregnant,
you probably have a lot of questions and concerns. Contrary to public
opinion or the panic you might feel inside, you have not totally ruined
the rest of your life; you have not totally ruined the rest of her life,
and you have not created "a problem" that must be eliminated.
You have, however, created a new human life. You have changed your life
and her life forever, and you have created an opportunity to demonstrate
responsibility and maturity. The truth is-if your girlfriend is pregnant,
you already are a father. With that in mind, how will you respond? To
the best of your ability you can let your girlfriend know that you won't
run. You can offer to go with her to tell her parents the news. You can
carefully research all of your options so that you and your girlfriend
can make an informed decision. You can avoid putting pressure on her to
have an abortion. And, you can work with your girlfriend to determine
the best plan for her, for you, and for the baby. The decisions you make
today will affect your life tomorrow. You owe it to yourself and to your
girlfriend to get the facts. We're here to help sort through some of life's
tough choices.
What are my rights
& responsibilities?
Unplanned pregnancy affects the guy,
too. You may be confused, shocked, overwhelmed and perhaps even scared.
You might feel as though you have more questions than answers. If you
are taking the time to read these topics, then you are already headed
in the right direction. Many times the guy is characterized as someone
who drops out of the picture upon hearing the news of a pregnancy, as
someone who does not accept responsibility for his actions, and as one
who delivers ultimatums. These stereotypes become an accurate portrayal
only if you fail to step up to the plate and learn about your responsibilities.
In general, you need to know your rights and responsibilities in the areas
of parenting, adoption, abortion, and paternity. With regard to parenting,
you will need to find answers to such questions as: Am I required to pay
child support? What custodial rights do I have as the father? and How
is the situation affected if paternity is in question? Some questions
for adoption might include: Does the state require my signature to complete
the adoption process? Can I participate in the selection of the adoptive
couple? and In an open adoption, will I be able to maintain contact along
with the birth mother? The issue of abortion might raise questions such
as: Do I have any rights if I do not support the decision to terminate?
Can I force my girlfriend to have an abortion if I am not ready to parent?
and Am I required to assist with the expense of an abortion? Paternity
brings up questions like: Am I required to pay for paternity testing?
Can I remain anonymous in the testing process? and Are DNA results admissible
into court? At Parkridge, you make all the decisions, but we can help
answer some of your questions.
What should I know
about abortion?
The choices that you and your girlfriend
face today with an unplanned pregnancy are complex and carry with them
a whole set of issues that you are better off knowing about at the outset
rather than finding out too late. The right to choose includes the right
to know. You need to know that currently there are 9 different types of
abortions. The abortion procedure used depends upon the stage of pregnancy
and the size of the baby. You should also be aware that as a result of
abortion, the following physical complications could affect your girlfriend:
excessive bleeding, infection, perforation of the uterus, cervical lacerations,
increased risk for future miscarriages and sterility, and increased risk
for breast cancer. In addition, after an abortion, many women and men
experience one or more of the following emotional consequences, some of
which might take several years to surface: guilt, long-term grief reactions,
anxiety, anger, flashbacks, anniversary reactions, broken relationships,
denial and depression. Many doctors who perform abortions seldom warn
women and men of the possible consequences, which is a serious violation
of medical ethics. You have a right to be informed of all of your options
and any other information that might affect your decision, but if you
don't ask, you may forfeit that right. Don't be intimidated. After all,
your girlfriend may suffer some serious complications if anything goes
wrong. You both have choices-just make sure that your decision is something
you both can live with for the rest of your lives.
What are our options?
Pregnancy can be a time of joy; however,
when it is unplanned or complicated by strained relationships, family
tensions, poor timing, health concerns, financial difficulties, and school
or career pressures, it can be confusing. The stress and anxiety of an
unplanned pregnancy can make it difficult to think clearly. It's hard
to imagine the future and the impact this one decision will have on your
life. At Parkridge, we can help you sort things out so you can decide
with a clear mind. There are basically 4 options for you and your girlfriend:
getting married and co-parenting the child, single parenting, placing
your child for adoption, or having an abortion. Before you decide, you
and your girlfriend deserve to have as much information as possible. We
can provide you with facts about fetal development, abortion techniques
and abortion risks, adoption procedures, pregnancy, parenting, and healthy
relationships. This is one of the biggest decisions you will make in your
life. Despite the stress-you need to weigh your alternatives. Before you
and your girlfriend choose, carefully consider the options based on information,
not just emotion. Use your head to guide your heart. None of the choices
is easy. Let Parkridge help. We can provide you and your girlfriend with
accurate information and free and confidential counseling.
How can Parkridge
help my girlfriend and me?
If you think your girlfriend might
be pregnant or you already know she is, you probably have a lot of questions
like-Who can we talk to? How will we tell our parents? What about school?
How will this affect our relationship? What about my future goals? What
will people think? Where can we get the help we need? If your girlfriend
is pregnant, you both need to be aware of your rights and responsibilities.
You have the right to be informed of all of your options. You have the
right to know the facts. You have the right to know the truth. It is your
responsibility to seek these answers. The responsibility of knowing the
facts must come before the choice is made. Choices, however, don't have
to be made alone. Parkridge is here for you. We can offer your girlfriend
a reliable pregnancy test (just to be sure), and we can offer both of
you confidential counseling with someone who cares about you, accurate
information on abortion, adoption, pregnancy and parenting, factual information
on Sexually Transmitted Diseases, support groups that meet you at your
point of need, and on-going encouragement and support for you and your
family and friends. All services of Parkridge are free and completely
confidential.
At Parkridge Pregnancy Center we recognize
that individuals have a right to make their own decisions about the outcome
of their pregnancy. We exist to help women make an informed and thoughtful
decision. The information provided on this website is not intended to
diagnose any condition or pregnancy and should not take the place of your
medical practitioner. Consult your physician with any medical questions
you might have. The information and services are provided with the understanding
that neither Parkridge Pregnancy Center nor its suppliers or users are
engaged in rendering legal, medical, counseling or other professional
services or advice.
Copyright © by Parkridge
Pregnancy Center. All rights reserved.
This material may not be utilized or reproduced in any form by any means
without the express written consent of Parkridge Pregnancy Center.
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